Pregnancy and childbirth are great stress for the body of a woman, and their consequences are a test for her self -esteem. Stretch marks, scars, varicose veins, breast sagging … It will take a lot of time and effort to return the body to the body. Is it necessary if you can love and accept it as it is?
“My sons have 17 years of age difference, the youngest 5 months. And I am 38 years old, and every day I involuntarily compare my motherhood now and then. Then, for discharge from the hospital, they brought me a sundress for pregnant women, and it was a shock – how, I could not get into my usual clothes?!
Two months later, I was in despair. It was necessary to return to the university, and my stomach hung and stretch marks covered it with crimson stripes. Vascular stars performed, all legs were blue. I looked like a born woman. It was a sentence of my beauty, youth and sexuality. I tortured my stomach with honey massage in the hope of returning elasticity. I was 21 years old.
How sorry I am, what I was then! Poor girl, soaked through by poisonous ideas about impeccable bodies – smooth, thin, forever young. Cruel double messages sound from all sides: give birth, but look unrivaled;Motherhood is wonderful, but keep us away from all this blood, a basket and leaking milk.
A man can have scars, wrinkles and noble gray hair, and a woman should look like the older sister of her children. This drives us into a trap, separates from our own body. The body that did a huge work – endured the child, made him into the light and fed.
Reproductive labor leaves traces, and this is not only stretch marks, the shape of the chest and abdomen. This is a tired back, aching sacrum and “trial” – the mother’s body belongs to children and ceases to be perceived as her own. Culture requires this huge layer of experiences and experience to hide as something obscene.
I want another culture – the one in which the birthday of the body receives respect and gratitude! In which it is obvious what a woman pays to give a child a life.
At the age of 21, pregnancy left me “only” a changed figure and a self -assessment blow. At 37, I knew very well how damage to my health, income, career capabilities and well -being would cause motherhood, and decided on it with open eyes. Know what and how much I will pay is completely different rules of the game.
Now I admire my body, it is my best friend and ally. I put a lot of attention and care in relations with him. I am grateful to him for a calm pregnancy, quite
good birth, trouble -free lactation. I no longer play a maternal feat: if I feel unwell, I will give myself a rest.
It is very strange for me to even think about evaluating the body with a ruler offered to me with a gloss. And if someone tries, he will have a hard time „.